For a long time, I’ve had thoughts of: “You’re not good enough. You’re not interesting enough. They’ll see through you eventually.”
Many of us have these thoughts – persistent whispers in the back of our minds.
The narratives we create about ourselves that shape our reality.
These thoughts are wrong.
This story, likely born from childhood experiences or societal pressures, became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Try New Things
It holds you back from trying new things, speaking up in meetings, or putting yourself out there.
It made compliments feel suspicious and successes temporary.
It took me a while to even recognize these scripts playing on repeat. But when I did, it was like finally noticing a scratched record skipping in the background of my life.
I craved a new soundtrack, a story that empowered me, not one that diminished me.
You’re Not Alone
I don’t think I’m alone.
Our valuation space has a collective, “We’re not good enough” playlist.
It shows up in our industry playing defense on the appraisal bias topic. It shows up when Chief Appraisers are tentative to be at the C-Suite table. It might appear as fear for appraisal firm owners, reluctant to invest heavily in technology and process.
Here’s some tips to change that self-limiting narrative:
- Awareness is Key: This is the first step is recognizing the script. Pay attention to your self-talk. When do those feelings of inadequacy pop up? What triggers them? Once you identify the pattern, you can start to challenge it.
- Reframing the Narrative: Instead of accepting the whispers as truth, question them. Is there any evidence to support them? More importantly, focus on your strengths. Make a list of your accomplishments, big and small. Celebrate your unique qualities and what makes you, you.
- Celebrate Imperfections: We all make mistakes. We all have flaws. The “not enough” story thrives on perfectionism. Embrace the journey of learning and growing. Focus on progress, not on being perfect.
- Self-Compassion is Crucial: Be kind to yourself. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself sometimes? Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them define you.
- Celebrate Growth: Every new experience, every challenge overcome, is a victory. Celebrate your growth, big or small. Acknowledge how far you’ve come and the courage it took to get there.
Rewriting the story of “not enough” is an ongoing process. There will be days when the old script tries to take over. But with awareness, self-compassion and a willingness to reframe our thoughts, we can learn to rewrite the narrative.
Listen to a New Soundtrack
We can choose a story that empowers us to believe we are worthy, capable and deserving of good things.
This journey is about reclaiming our power, our voice and our own unique place in the world.
It’s about writing a new story, one where you’re the hero.
Invest in your new soundtrack, the ROI is life-changing.
The world is not “as it is.” The world is “as you are.”
You’re enough.
